You can't make this shit up...

Snow Plowing just got FUN.

So, after 7 years of plowing (and hating it 95.79% of the time) I discover the missing link: blueberry beer!  Thank you Chip's Store for always having a handy dandy, cold supply.
All those years I bitched about the DickHead who plowed at my former home... WHILE he was drinking beer. Turns out he was right all along.
2 blueberry beers into it and it took me 3 attempts to back a wide farm tractor into a narrow garage (usually I get it right the first time). But hey, I did not swear once while plowing even while trying to:
  • hold my beer,
  • shift,
  • steer, and
  • work the plow hydraulic lever.

Well, that is until I finished plowing, moved my car out of the tractor's side of the garage (with the 2x4 propped overhead door), and got back on my tractor to put it away... yup, the damned snow plow goes by and plugs the end of my driveway again.

Hey, one F bomb is a whole lot less than normal.
Beer is now part of the process...
BTW Mom: please tell Dad I need a bottle holder installed on my tractor.
Don't worry Mom... you did not fail as a parent.
beer in snow
BACKSTORY:
This day has been a friggin' snowy fiasco.
  1. Garage door broken.
  2. Can't get tractor out to plow.
  3. Have to fight with said door for an hour and then prop it open with a 2 x 4.
  4. Tractor runs out of gas because this piss poor X Girl Scout isn't prepared with gas. AND... she knew a winter storm was coming.
  5. Finally I am coming home with the gas to finish plowing.
Funny enough, I have picked up a six pack of blueberry beer too.
On we go...
So the story gets better. Eli, my 15 year old, is giving me shit because I have beer:
"what did you buy beer for mom?"
I say: "if I have to plow the driveway on a No. Co., redneck, old farm tractor I'm going to do it like a proper, happy, No. Co. redneck."
So then I spill my beer on top of the clothes washer. Eli quickly grabs a towel to wipe it up. I flip out and yell at him to stop. Which, I have to give him credit: quick thinking & action but...
I run to the kitchen, pull apart a tincture bottle, and use the dropper, like a straw, to suck the beer up off the top of the washer. To which Eli says, "nothing says crazy, drunk bitch like this! "
How have I NOT ruined my awesome kids?
Did I mention my 15 year old never made it to school, which had been delayed 2 hours, but the above snow, garage door, plowing, gas, and beer fiasco trumped school for the day.   Shhh, don't tell his Dad...
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Say No To EVERY Form of Hormonal Birth Control

birth control pills can stock

From the time I was old enough to know what hormonal birth control was (in my younger days only the "pill" was available. Now hormonal birth control is invading females' bodies in many forms.) I always had this gut feeling: "there is just something wrong with hormones being used to tamper with female's bodies. This is not normal, natural, and cannot be good for the body in any way, shape, or form."

For years I worked in OB/GYN nursing watching hormonal birth control pills getting shoved down the throats of teens, sometimes as soon as they started their periods. BC pills were prescribed to young teen girls for various reasons:

  • to regulate the cycle (what teen, just starting to have periods, has a regular cycle. menstruation doesn't just start one day and immediately it's the perfect 28 day cycle anymore than a woman goes through menopause having perfect 28 day cycles and then they just stop. Ok, we are finished now.)
  • for acne (seriously people... teach the kid how to eat whole foods as nature intended)
  • to control bleeding (again... change eating & lifestyle habits)
  • to control headaches

I phased into teaching junior & senior high health ed classes in public school, private schools, colleges, and community based non-profits. Over 20+ years, the percentage of young girls I saw who were on the pill* rose steadily. The beginning age that many girls are put on hormonal birth control kept dropping.

Hormonal birth control is an area where much education is needed. Moms, in desperation to help their daughters, listen to the medical explanation about how helpful hormonal birth control is for their daughter's "menstrual" issues. Mothers and daughters are told how it is actually healthier for the daughters to be on the pill than not on the pill.

I can see how this early prescription for hormonal BC happens.   Mothers just wants what is seemingly best for her daughter.  The doctor does know best... correct?

When I was a teen, there was a deep space of common sense inside me that made me realize there was nothing good or natural about hormonal birth control. Three plus decades later, we know the horrible side and long-term effects that women have experienced with menopausal hormone replacement therapies. We are now starting to learn the horrors of hormonal birth control.

As a Natural & Functional Medicine Health Educator, I work with clients one on one. I have seen the ravages of hormonal birth control on womens' lives.

  • mood disorders
  • chronic depression
  • low or no libido
  • digestive tract ills
  • nutritional deficiencies
  • brain fog
  • headaches
  • and more

I have worked with women to wean off the pill, repair the damage and deficiencies, heal the gut, end the depressive cycles, and get their lives back after sometimes years on hormonal birth control.

Educate yourself. Educate your daughters and granddaughters. Educate your husbands and your sons so they are advocates for their daughters & partners to not be using any form of hormonal birth control.

Learn more.

A medical doctors thoughts on hormonal birth control:

5 Reasons To Rethink Your Birth Control Method

published in mindbodygreen

A very insightful book to raise questions about the wisdom in avoiding all hormonal methods of birth control.

the pill

Order from Amazon.com

 

When it comes to caring for your body... nature knows best.

*on the pill can now be many forms of hormonal BC: on the oral BC pill, hormonal shots of birth control, implants, cervical rings, IUDs with hormones... and the list grows of ways we can alter a womans menstrual cycle with synthetic hormones.