Top 5 Death Bed Regrets

Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets

people make on their deathbed

I completely understand this!

So I reposted from Tanner Hawryluk    Thank you Tanner for the reminder to be authentically me!

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.

I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with yourapproaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what  others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Arthritis: Cooling the Inflammation Naturally

Support to move into a whole food eating & healing lifestyle.

Dietary Changes:  

1. Ok, here I go.... whole foods.  

If you replace everything you put in your mouth that is not 100% whole food with real food, whole food, your body will heal.  It is really that simple.

I could give much more information but making changes, one simple thing at a time, is easiest for most people.  Changing the diet from processed, packaged, food "products" to 100% whole food is a huge change for most people.  Seriously think about what you eat for each meal and snacks, if you snack: How many food items are manufactured in a factory?  How many were created by nature and nature alone (no human meddling)?

2. While switching to whole foods, remove wheat and gluten from the diet.  

By removing all these packaged foods from your life, you will be removing many laboratory made ingredients that are derived from wheat.  Many food additives are made from wheat and therefore contain gluten.  You will not read "wheat" on the label but the ingredients with weird, chemical sounding names, more than likely are wheat derived and contain gluten.  Eat un-packaged food!  

I know many people have complete relief of symptoms by getting gluten out of their diets.  This is not as hard as people "groan and moan" it is going to be.  People need to educate themselves around gluten and with this new found knowledge, avoiding gluten is not so difficult.  Where it gets difficult is we have become a culture dependent on food products and eating away from home (which most food in restaurants is cheap, crap food; use the cheapest ingredients to make the most profit possible).  Food products and food prepared out of home is often times full of wheat derivatives.   For help:  Gluten-Free Cooking & Living Class

3. Another key step in whole food, gluten-free eating is to avoid gluten-free products.  

Most are full of filler crap ingredients that are debilitating to health.  You will be, in essence, trading one debilitating food for another.  Read labels on all foods, gluten-free included, for 100% whole food ingredients. All gluten free foods need to be 100% whole food: no white rice flour, potato starch, tapioca starch, etc. These are refined ingredients and hard on your body's health.

OK, so why remove gluten?  Because it is very inflammatory in most people's bodies.  Modern day wheat is extremely high in gluten compared to heritage wheat of days gone by, the wheat that existed before human manipulation.  The high concentrations of gluten in modern wheat disturb metabolism and cellular health, some people notice it more than others.  How gluten affects each person is different.  What is known is that gluten is a huge culprit in arthritis and many people are relieved of arthritis symptoms simply by getting rid of gluten.  Eat completely gluten-free for 2 weeks, see how you feel.  If any doubts about it helping or not, try this:  after 2 weeks of gluten-free eating, eat plenty of wheat at every meal for a whole day.  Pile on the whole wheat bread, pasta, crackers, and cereal.  Now pay attention to how your body feels!

Bread was traditionally made from sprouted whole grains and then fermented for 3 full days with sour dough cultures. The amount of gluten left after sprouting and culturing was very minimal. Today's bread is mass produced in a matter of a couple of hours. There was good reasons for traditional food preparation.

Gluten is naturally found in wheat, rye, barley, and oats*.  Any variety of wheat will contain gluten:  spelt, kamut, einkorn... anything that says heritage wheat variety.  Yes, they have less gluten but at this point, with an auto immune disease, any amount of gluten will just exacerbate the internal inflammation.

Think lung disease:  how many daily cigarettes would you recommend to someone with lung disease?

Think liver disease:  how many shots of liquor would you recommend to someone trying to heal liver disease?

Think diabetes:  how much sugar would you recommend to someone trying to heal the beta cells in their pancreas and ultimately heal their type II diabetes?

Would you tell these people to do the 80/20 plan with their cigarette, alcohol, or sugar consumption? 

Eliminating the "culprits," (the cause or causes of the health symptoms) and introducing nourishing healers (food, lifestyle, herbs, etc.) is what will heal your beautiful body, right down to each and every beautiful cell!

*Avoid oats unless certified gluten-free and organic. Oats do not naturally contain gluten.  If whole oats, oat flakes, Irish oats, or oat flour are CERTIFIED gluten-free, then they are fine.  Gluten-free certification is essential with oats.  Otherwise, you are consuming oats that have been contaminated with gluten in the grain harvesting and handling process.  Oats are processed on the same equipment that wheat is processed on. This industry practice contaminates oats with gluten from the wheat.

All grains should be organic to avoid pesticides and agricultural chemicals that will, most likely, exacerbate your symptoms. Glyphosate (broad spectrum herbicide brought to you by Monsanto) is hard on the gut lining's health, disrupts gut microbial populations, and creates inflammation in the body. 

4. Get rid of sugar:  

A whole food diet will take care of that problem immediately. Perhaps some educational handouts around the ill effects of sugar would help out here?  Email me and ask for my sugar handouts: pyoumell@gmail.com

5. Dairy:

Often people have much relief from arthritis symptoms when they completely avoid dairy. Some people do well to re-introduce dairy after weeks of eliminating it IF the dairy is raw and from grass fed animals. This means no pasteurization or homogenization. Others do well to re-introduce only raw, grass fed goat milk and goat milk products (cheese, yogurt).

6. Alkalize the body:  

The human body likes to function in a slightly alkaline state.  When the body struggles to balance from acidic eating and lifestyle habits our health suffers: mineral loss causing tooth decay and bone de-mineralization and deterioration of body organs, body cells.

Below is a chart on acid and alkaline foods.  Eating in a balanced way, to keep the body alkaline, helps to heal, including arthritis. Example:  Eat veggies with meat to balance the acid-alkaline effects.  This is only a quick explanation of acid-alkaline balancing.  I encourage you to explore and learn more.

A youtube video with a good, basic explanation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yk1ru_CJt2k (Forgive the couple of misspelled words, the content is what counts here.)

7. Movement Magic:  

Movement is essential.  Move it or lose it.  Try something called dynamic movement which helps to heal the adhesions that settle in from moving body parts in one direction only. Can I recommend Yoga?

Lisa Huck: I cannot recommend this woman enough:  her exercises will restore youthful movement in just minutes a day by lubricating (listen to her awesome words in the video).  I stumbled upon her (thanks to Dr. Mercola) and her dynamic movements have ended my sciatica and low back issues (which were not low back issues at all, but movement issues!).  She is the Goddess of Movement, my Goddess of movement!

http://thrivefnlblog.com/2012/04/16/dynamic-core-routine/

8. Herbal Healing:  

Herbs are fabulous whole foods for healing the body.  I would add these in AFTER you have had gluten out of your diet for at least 2 weeks.  This way, you can see the effects getting gluten out has on getting healing into your body!  You do want to know what is having the healing effects!

My favorite herb:  Stinging nettles, I love this green healer.  Her work is truly magic in the human body. Nettles adds nutrients to every body cell.  This is what you want for your body!

 Nettles:  planted right next to my porch so I always know I have a supply!

9. More herbs to add for nourishing the body cells, easing symptoms of inflammation, and healing:

ginger, turmeric, cinnamon*, cayenne, and Devil's claw. (*Please use real Ceylon cinnamon, not the grocery store variety of cinnamon.)

Turmeric Ginger Anti-inflammatory syrup recipe

Turmeric butter, anti-inflammatory butter recipe

10. Burdock root and dandelion root:  

Nourishing the liver and adding essential fatty acids to the diet heals the body.  Both of these roots can be eaten in soups, stir fries, stews, and grated (raw) into a slaw salad or grated to put on top of a green salad.  Making an infusion and drinking 3 to 4 cups  daily is healing as well. An infusion is a medicinal strength herbal tea.  Need help on how to brew an infusion?

11. Nature's Path:  

Find that place outside and get fresh air and sunshine (even on cloudy days) every day. Visualize a potted plant, shoved in the bottom of a closet, no fresh air or sunshine.  What do you think will be the outcome for that plant?  Put this common sense in action in your life.  All living beings need fresh air and sunshine, period, bottom line!  Embrace it, love it, find time every single day.  I promise, you will not regret it.

Putting your body in direct contact with the Earth is called Grounding. Think bare feet walking on a sunny day, cloudy day, even a rainy day. Try removing as much clothes as possible and lie right down on the ground getting as much Earth contact as possible.

Below zero and snow you say? There are Grounding mats you can buy. I will not profess any knowledge or experience around these things as I have never used them. I have clients who swear by them for relief of body aches and pains. 

12. Acupuncture:  

I would be horribly remiss if I did not tell you about the healing powers of acupuncture to reduce inflammation and move healing energy in the body.  I recommend Shelby Connelly, Licensed Acupuncturist in Colton, NY:  http://fiveelementsliving.com/

Not in the Northern NY State area?  Find an acupuncturist from Tai Sophia, Maryland University of Integrative Health.

13. Yoga:  

Does amazing things for healing!  Find a yoga instructor knowledgeable in arthritis health and healing.  Here in the Northern part of NY State, St. Lawrence County... I recommend Rebecca Rivers, Ellie Beeler, and Sarah Harris.  Try the Yoga Loft & Trillium!

14. Reiki Energy Healing:

Find a Reiki practitioner to help bring calming relief to your body, mind, and spirit. I often recommend people take Reiki 1 training to learn to do Reiki healing on themselves.

Bottom Line:  

1.  Whole foods

2.  Gluten-free eating, maybe grain free

3. Sugar free eating & drinking

4.  Move your body

5.  Fresh air & sunshine

6.  Herbs

7.  Acupuncture and energy healing

8.  Yoga

9. Reiki

May this post inspire you to move forward in your life, to take self-responsibility for healing your own body. You know your body best and what it needs to heal.

Be well, relax, learn to heal your beautiful body through nature!  If I can help you with your healing plan, you know where to find me. Contact Paula

PS  Need some words of love & encouragement from happy clients & students?

Free Natural Health-Lifestyle Medicine Information to further encourage your Self Healing Skills:  

• Principles of Whole Food Eating  (Whole foods are the foundation for your healing plan.)
• Movement Magic
• Whole Health Lifestyle Choices
• Making Herbal Infusions
• Bone Health
• Making any recipe a Whole Food Recipe
• Microwave ILLS
• Gut Health
• Keeping blood sugar healthy
• Cook like a kitchen artist!
• Clean 15, Dirty Dozen list from Environmental Working Group
• Recipes

Sacred Eating

Sacred Eating:  Meal Time as a Spiritual Time

In Eastern Indian  culture, eating is a spiritual experience. Truly, living is a spiritual experience and they recognize this. Native Americans always gave thanks to all the spirits of the food they ate, be it plant or animal based food. Eating was always viewed as sacred in our culture.   People were grateful to the earth and all beings involved in providing the food that graced our tables.

In comes modern living and people with way too busy lives who have learned to gobble food while on the run.  Smoothies to chug while racing about the house getting tasks accomplished, omelets being eaten in the car with disastrous results  (Yes, I had one lady tell me a funny "omelet in the car story" and how she reserves omelets for weekend breakfasts only.  I have had equally disastrous results with grated beet salad in the car.  Not a good idea; beets stain everything), and far too many drive through eateries dot our landscapes making eating a mindless commodity for the run, run, run of life.

We have lost the art of mindfulness around that which feeds our each and every body cell; not to mention feeds our minds and souls.

When I was a kid (Oh no, groan... here come the stories of "barefoot to school, uphill both ways!"), I had an internal time clock. I just knew I had to be home at 5 PM for family dinner time.  No watch or cell phone in my pocket to remind me; we were just very aware, on an unconscious level that we needed to scramble home at 4:55 PM.  I am not certain of the consequences of a missed dinner.  I never stepped over that line.  Family dinner time, eating the evening meal together, was an unspoken sacred family time.

Take a moment and think about how you can slow down your daily life to incorporate peace around meals.  Meals where you actually sit at the table instead of finding yourself running out the door, food in hand, to eat in your car  on your way to work or some evening activity.

Sit and be still.  Sit at the table with loved ones (your precious pets count here) and experience the scents, colors, flavors, and textures of your food. Food is a very sensual experience and, yet, most of us skip right over this blessing of sensuality. 

When we take the time to give thanks for all it took to bring this food to our plate and relax and chew it slowly and thoroughly, we perform an amazing healing service to body, mind, and soul.

And, a bonus here, every extra chew means more flavor burst in our mouths, more food broken down for ease of digestion and absorption to feed every one of our beautiful body's cells... does all this not seem worthy of our time and attention?  

When we express and experience gratitude for the food on our plates and gratitude to all who made the meal possible, a ripple of healing effects roll through our body.  This literally creates healthier body cells, a healthier you through better digestion and absorption of nutrients, better sleep quality as your body is less stressed, and an all around better quality of life.

And, on a bigger level, it sends a healing ripple of positive energy out into the world.  Eating peaceful meals has a powerful global effect.  

Can you think of one small step you can take today to make meal time a more leisurely and sacred time in your daily life?  As you contemplate change, remember that no one is perfect.  I was standing at the kitchen counter, eating a "quick" snack when the thoughts for this post raced through my head.  There I stood, eating and scribbling notes before those notes became lost in the recesses of my mind and the rest of my day's activities.

Bottom line:  Eating is a spiritual experience: we are spiritual beings in a physical body.  All of our Earthly experiences are spiritual, divine.  When we treat food preparation and eating from this space, we better care for our bodies.  Choosing whole foods to nourish ourselves, right down to each and every physical body cell, is a choice we can make from a space of wellness and deep nourishment of our body, mind, and spirit.

When we approach all life choices in this manner, making choices for wellness seems like the only way to go. It is pure loving kindness.

You owe it to yourself:  slow down, relax, and enjoy your food.  Discover eating again for the sacred experience it truly is.

Native American Gratitude Prayer

We thank Great Spirit for the resources that made this food possible;

We thank the Earth Mother for producing it, and 

We thank all those who labored to bring it to us.

May the wholesomeness of the food before us, bring out the wholeness of the Spirit within us.

Ablation?

Ablation?  

Seriously?  

Fry the Inside of My Uterus?

(This article was not meant to hit the pages of my WholeFoodHealer blog as it is a female issue.  But as I was signed into this account when I was actually creating and writing it for this account:  www.wisewomenredtent.com, it automatically posted here.  I did immediately remove it from this account but it seems to have slipped into the world anyhow.

I started the Wise Women Red Tent blog as a space to address female health topics from a Wise Woman and holistic perspective. WholeFoodHealer has a mixed gender following.)

Ablation is defined as removal of material from the surface of an object by vaporization, chipping, or other erosive processes.  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ablation). This definition alone, erosive processes??, would make me shudder and stop to think about what was being recommended for my body, my precious uterus.

“Stop your heavy period and restore your life” is NovaSure’s advertising hype for uterine ablation.  Wow, my life needs restoring because I bleed?  Really?

And next, the opening paragraph on the NovaSure’s website is a scary patriarchal mindset, PMS as Wise Woman Susun Weed aptly calls it.

Heavy bleeding is a symptom that there is an imbalance in a woman's body.  Eroding the endometrium will not heal this imbalance.  Correcting the imbalance will heal the heavy bleeding and prevent more complex female health problems down the road of life.

Address the cause, not the symptoms.

I would look at the woman's diet and lifestyle to unravel the causes of her heavy bleeding symptoms.  I would suggest diet and lifestyle changes that were fitting to her unique, individual needs.  I would recommend herbs (wild yam to start) to assist in healing the imbalances in her whole body. This makes more sense to me than burning away the endometrium, the uterine lining.

I am a Functional Medicine RN, Herbalist trained in the Wise Women tradition, Yoga Mentor & Natural Health Educator.  I worked in Maternal Child Nursing for 12 years before leaving to focus on Wise Women centered care & Natural Health Education.

I first heard of this uterine ablation while sitting at my healing table working with a beautiful female soul.  She told me she had this procedure 10 years prior, at age 32!  I then gently said, “Wait, what? Please explain that to me again.”  I was shocked to say the least but maintained my compassionate energy.

When I removed myself from standard medical care, I lost tract of new procedures created to “solve women’s issues.”  Consequently, I am paying attention again, not to recommend the procedures, but to support women in healing and avoiding such procedures.

Not wanting to make her feel bad for her choice; I opened my ears, heart, and soul and listened to her story.  I was amazed and frustrated at how she was convinced that burning away the inside of her uterus, the endometrium, was just the thing she needed to do to solve all her womanly problems.

I have since heard this story, many times over, and it breaks my heart.  Red tents are needed in every community to remind women of the wisdom of their own body, to listen and hear what the symptoms of heavy bleeding are struggling to tell them.

My wish is to be able to support women in these situations.  By sitting with them, listening to their “her-stories,” and helping them to unravel the causes of the menstrual symptoms.  The body will heal when we remove the cause(s) of the health symptoms and nourish the body back to health with nourishing, Wise Woman supported, life giving choices.  Lifestyle changes centered on whole food eating, whole health living, and herbs to nourish and heal the woman’s beautiful female organs and her entire body, every cell in her body, would be how I would create a Red Tent for every woman I am blessed to support on their healing paths.

Whole Heart Forgiveness

Whole  Forgiveness

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the  heel that has crushed it.”  Mark Twain

Learning to forgive yourself and others opens the doors to healing.  Who do you need to forgive?  What do you need to forgive yourself for?

In order to heal the physical body, we must first heal the emotional and spiritual bodies.  Forgiveness is a great space to be in to start this healing energy.  Forgiveness heals the heart.

I invite you to watch this video about an amazing self healing tool and Wayne Dyer's thoughts on forgiveness and healing:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDjuBXZy29s

Happy  Valentine's Day

February is a great month to think about heart health.  Good foods for healing the heart are onions, garlic, cayenne, hawthorn berries, motherwort, rosemary, passion flower (the heart IS a center of passion!), and my favorite herb for everything nourishing and healing, stinging nettles.   A whole food diet supplies the heart cells with the nutrients needed to continue beating long into old age.

To read my full article on whole foods and herbs for your beating heart's health, published in the current issue of the  Canadian magazine Herbal Collective.   Go to this link and click forward to page 9:

http://issuu.com/herbalcollective/docs/hc_febmarch_14

Be well, forgive fiercely, and love intensely, Paula

I Popped the Cranberry of Fermentation...

I Popped the Cranberry of Fermentation

and

Threw in an Apple or Two

That's correct, my first fermentation of veggies!  Sure I have made yogurt, cheeses, and other fermented foods but this was my first attempt making "kraut."  Isn't the deep pink color pretty?!

I have eaten plenty of fermented veggies over the years and I figured it was time to stop being lazy in the kitchen and start making my own.

Now I confess, I did not follow a recipe.  I prefer to do things my way, figure it out as I go sort of method.  Those who know me are not shocked by this confession of being a "do it my way" kind of girl.

I put myself into a shredding frenzy with my loyal kitchen friend, the metal cheese grater! I grated:  beets, carrots, celeriac, turnip, rutabaga, cabbage, and apples.  Then I chopped up frozen cranberries.  All the goodies, except the apples, were from the Kent Family Growers.  Thanks Dan & Megan for contributing to my kitchen frenzy!

When I finished grating I had a huge stainless steel bowl of grated veggies.  I added 3 tablespoons of unrefined, Celtic sea salt and got to kneading the colorful mess.  I mixed and kneaded with my hands for 10 to 15 minutes and then let it sit for 1 1/2 hours.

At this point I decided to read a recipe to see how I was doing winging it in the kitchen.  Well, I read to salt the cabbage and let it sit before adding the other veggies.  Whoops, too late for that.  No sense crying over spilled milk.  I got in gear, cleaned the table of renegade shredded veggie pieces and did up the dinner dishes.

Then I:

1.  stuffed the salted, grated veggies into my new German fermentation crock,

2.  made certain the liquid covered the veggies,

3.  placed my whole cabbage leaves on top,

4.  set the clay weights in place,

5.  put the lid on,

6.  and added water to the trough around the lid.  This water must be kept in the trough the whole fermentation period.  I was on this water "watch" like a Mom watching her babe!

DONE, finished!  Now I just had to wait patiently for 8 days to see if my method of doing things created anything tasty and edible!

28 Days Later 

OK, another confession:  I actually waited the full 28 days, no peaking!  That's more than I can say for Christmas presents as a kid. Yeah, sorry Mom, nothing you can do about it now.  'Ya should have hid them better.  I only peaked at one per year; honest.

So, back to the root veggie kraut.... It turned out fabulously.  Pretty pink, crisp, and tasty. The longer ferment time allows for growth of full spectrum gut microbes. You want this to happen!

My Favorite Way to Eat It?

Well, right out of the jar... but, when I am feeling like putting a bit more effort into the meal or snack I add grated, raw slaw and goat or sheep milk feta to the pile of veggies.  Then I top with lots of yummy, raw, organic walnuts and feast away!

This has to be the nectar of the Gods and Goddesses!  If not, I will ferment my hat and eat it!

Interested in learning to ferment?

Add your name to the Local Living Venture's mailing list.  They just held a fermentation class on Thursday, January 30th.  Why am I taunting and teasing with a class that is now over?   Because it was full and had a waiting list!  This is a good sign that it WILL be offered again.  Go ahead, sign up for their email notifications,  and get notified when all sorts of fun, food classes are being taught!

From their website, http://www.sustainablelivingproject.net/

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Be well, eat good food, have fun, & love ... Paula